A Right-Thinking, Straight-Talking Bloke Takes on Same-Sex Marriage

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The Not-Quite Magnificent Seven

Poofs.

I hate ‘em. Every stinking one of them. They choose it, you know. Just like I chose to be straight. Back when I was fourteen, I had sex with a guy and decided then and there I’d be straight. That’s why I bullied queers so much at school. If I could decide not to enjoy myself when being penetrated by some other guy, why couldn’t they?

Where was I?

Benders. That’s it! Never liked any of them. Queen was never my scene (and I don’t like Star Wars). I hate Stephen Fry and I think the only real man on television is that Barney guy on “How I Met Your Mother”. He’s a womaniser and a real man’s man. Not that kind of man’s man. That’s just depraved.

I forbid my wife from wearing any Dior, Versace, Gaultier or Peter Alexander. They’re all homos. I also hate using technology. Computers…

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